Synopsis: One is a super geek, and the other one is pretty much a failure at life who happened to have some pretty cool friends. Through some sort of time continuum screw up on Urkel's part, Screech is magically teleported to Carl Winslow's house, and boy is he pissed. He was on his way to a school dance where Lisa Turtle FINALLY promised to give him head. Urkel has a battle on his hands.
Breakdown: Both these guys aren't your average threats.
Urkel, AKA the Urk-Man can transform into his alter-ego Stephan Urkel (pronounced in a French accent) which is a suave, smooth-talking fellow who would rather screw your girlfriend than lay a beat down on you. The only thing Steve Urkel has going for him is the blissfully ignorant nerd factor. You might be on a quest to beat his ass till he looks like a Ken Shamrock after he fought... Well, anyone actually, but Urkel has the luck to accidentally wreck you. He could have a bus jump the curb to avoid him because he dropped his cheese, and in turn, you would die in the bus' tragic collision course. Urkel would cradle your head compassionately, blissfully unaware that you were ever going to harm him as your life slips away. And he'll look you dead in the eye and say: "Did I do that?"
Screech on the other hand is a total fuck-up. He is powerful only through his ability to network. his best friends are Zack Morris and AC Slater. He can say and do whatever he wants. But he has a good heart.
In reality, Screech has the longest survivability of all the Bayside kids. He was the lovable molester/janitor for Saved by the Bell: The New Class, and he had really swell mutton chops for that series as well. His real-life personality Dustin Diamond beat the living shit out of Ron Palillo, who played another old school nerd Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter, on Celebrity Boxing. He also competed on Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling.
Results: And so, Screech charges into battle headlong and Urkel screams as the two bodies crash together like ebony and ivory chopsticks. Screech has the early advantage as he pummels Urkel with tiny little fists.
Suddenly, the basement door opens up, and a drunken Carl WInslow stumbles in and unholsters his police issue handgun and starts unloading on the two!
In the chaos, Urkel dives into his transformation chamber and emerges as none other than the suave and debonair Stephan Urkel (pronounced in a french accent).
The final bullet ricochets off the brick basement wall and hits one of Urkel's electronic contraptions! The whole basement goes haywire, and in the ensuing minute, Urkel and Screech are teleported to another time and dimension...
The jungle. Hot, sweaty, dank. Urkel calmly brushes the dirt and grime from his clothes. Screech, frothing at the mouth rises and prepares to engage in battle.
"Please, explain your situation to me. I'm sure we can come to a compromise."
Stephan's pleas fall on deaf ears as Screech rushes in to engage.
Urkel readies himself and as the two are once again preparing to trade bombs, a lumbering creature tackles Screech! A caveman stands above the mortified Bayside teen and hollers in victory. The primitive man ape goes down as Urkel strikes him from behind. Screech unleashes a furious howl as he smashes the caveman repeatedly over the head with a large rock! It's like a scene from Lord of the Flies. Another crash from the bushes sends the two nerds scrambling as the greatest predator of the dinosaur age emerges from the thicket. A Tyrannosaurus Rex lets out a scream that curdles milk as it swoops in and consumes the fallen caveman...
Zap... Welcome to the Bayside High School dance. Mister Belding fondles a high school girl and barfs in her hair as the two figures are teleported to the dance floor. The music stops and everyone stares at Stephan Urkel, and his bloody opponent Screech Masters. From the crowd, two men emerge. Oh God, it's Zack Morris and AC Slater. This is not good. Screech crawls over to his friend's feet.
"Please Zack, this man attacked me. On my special night with Lisa Turtle."
AC bull rushes the Urkman, and with lighting quick reflexes, Urkel lashes out and lands a beautiful kick across his face, shattering four teeth and breaking his jaw. AC crumples and Zack rushes in.
In a scene similar to Anderson Silva VS Rich Franklin, Urkel grabs him in an unbreakable muay thai clinch and drives several knees into Morris' baby face, snapping ribs, and cracking his face like particle board.
Time's up. The transformation wears off and leaves Urkel as a sweaty, scared nerd once again. Screech is cowering on Lisa Turtle's leg, begging for protection. Lisa shakes him off and walks over to Urkel. She caresses his face and says:"Hey there, I'm Lisa. I was going to give a gift to Screech tonight, but you're way dreamier. Come with me behind the bleachers."
Steve Urkel, hazy from his stint as Stephan looks at the broken bodies of Zack and AC, and asks Lisa:
“Did I do that?”
Screech watches on as his chance to finally hook up with Lisa Turtle slip between his fingers. He looks to the Gods above and lets out the most horrible, cracked voice scream ever heard.